IN Digestion

I have no idea - but I simply can not get these two songs out of my head - (One, and November Rain) -

I have a lot to say about JORDAN! But to tired, and to sleepy (I had this work that HAS to be done only today, and at a certain time for a client, so I am at a NET CAFE at 4:32 AM IN AMMAN! - Fatima’s at home reading Hannibal (YES I do NOT update the books I read or am reading, but I did read that on my flight back to Jordan - CREEPY)

But, here is this cool powerpoint we made for our familes back home - mostly to reassure them I have not ‘killed everyone’ or something by mistake, its mostly intended for family, but I thought some of my friends may want to see it as well, and well I did not really wanna be selective about who is and who is not a ‘friend’ so - my new definition of friend is anyone who comes to my blog - thats it.

http://www.islamicnetwork.com/jordan/jordanlife.ppt

One thing you will need to know to understand one of the ‘inside jokes’

1. Hajra LOVES LOVES LOVES Series of Unfortunate Events, she reads them all like crazy and over and over again. (Which is written by someone Named Lemony Snickets, or something).
2. All photos with Fatima in them look really weird/offish, cause she does not like being in photos, so they all kinda show it one way or the other. (she does not even realize a photo is being taken).

Sas

I am still learning and still have a lot to learn I am sure - but some questions for the people who asked:

Firstly, for Salafis, this is a Salafi Haven - most of the religous people here are Salafi without a doubt, or heavily Salafi influenced - I see students and sheyookh a plenty, so I am sure there are many ways to learn here - but, since perhaps Jordan is not a place where ‘westerner salafis’ flock, you would have to hang out until you understand how jordan works from a jordanian perspective before you can find these circles (versus places like egypt, saudi arabia, where westerners seem to have already a few places they kinda ‘flock to’) - so if you want to buckle down, learn enough arabic to get around and feel comfortable getting around and looking on your own, - you can def tell that Salafi Circles of Gathering are going on in this Country -

I have not visited the Al Albani center/ and his students yet, but I should be seeing it soon - I will be hooking up with one of the assistants of Shaikh Ali Hassan Al Halabi, so I can find out for you a bit about that stuff - for that matter, I have yet to do anything in Karabsheh either actually (so no sufi stuff either yet) - but I don’t think any of you guys care to much about that (I am a bit excited on the other hand), I keep hearing about all of these cool/weird/bid’a (good) activities that go on there - so looking forward to it.

But that can all wait -

for now, lots of other things have to happen first! Like children schooling, etc.

Oh yea, the living expenses here  - for most westerners it seems like 900-1k a month is needed if including children and class expenses for different various things you may want to do in terms of paid tutoring and/or private schools

If you put your kids in the free schools (i am guessing you can, it should be lesser) but 400-600 can be spent if just worried about food / roof and occasionally spending money here and there

If you can rough it more, then you can make it happen for 300-400 a month out in a village or cheaper housing -

But you can get a REALLY REALLY REALLY nice set up for around 1k a month, if you look around and find a nice place - the place we are in now for example is pretty nice and comparable to how I have ever lived in the states) and costs 300JD a month

I can get the exact same place and setting for 200 JD a month, but for about 375JD a month (only a lil bit more if you think about it) I can get a place about 3 times bigger then the one I Have now in a super duper nice place, so you can really live pretty well for a lot cheaper then the USA, but you need money coming in)

But forget all of that!

Every day when I walk out, and this photo is the real thing, hes not posing - this is what he looks like every day outside ‘Aaliyah - he sells tea! for 10 kirsh, This is Jordan to me - this guy selling tea! I love it, and the guy is awesomely nice ma sha Allaah

Like this is Literally what I see every morning, not a camera pose - thats how he is out when ever he sees me

I am so happy to be retired, I lived a full and meaningful life and now I can just relax. My day consists of doing a bit of work to earn some money (soon, I can give that up as well) but we are talking like a short time amount, less work then I would do in my spare retired time – I eat well, I spend quality time with family, my parents will move down here eventually as well – and its one long chill session all day –

Right now the kids are nibbling on fresh oranges (which are super cheap here as are all vegetables/fruits – we purchased 5 bags full of fruit (and HEAVY to carry) for just 3JD – (meat on the other hand is a bit expensive). 

I feel like I am a king or something, I wake up around Fajr time (the kids alarm is right before the adhan, and Hafsa will usually wake everyone else up) – then I hear the adhan from my own bedroom! – then afterwards (for now) go back to bed for a bit –

Then we eat either some bread, olive oil and zatar or we get fresh falafel sandwiches (Ibrahim can run down and buy 5 of them for 1JD) – 

We have this awesome electrical tea maker, makes about enough tea for 10-12 cups in about 3 minutes – We usually leave it ready the night before – and then after breakfasts just plug it in and its set to go and we can drink 4-5 cups of tea –

All in all, it’s a nice 45 minute to one hour long breakfast around the heater – Sometimes the kids join Fatima and I (right now, everyone is allowed to sleep in since school does not start for 2 more weeks) – 

Same with lunch, same with dinner, nice relaxed long well done meals – no one to meet, no one to talk to – it’s perfect! The phone is not RINGING like crazy! I think It rungs once or twice a week and that’s it!

We decided to NOT get internet, everyone (but the kids loves it) – that way, we treat the net like anything else – and its just rationed, and we use the net from the net café (can take laptops and plug it in to the café, where they are super nice) – 

Long walks, short walks – but a short walk is 1 minute, a long walk is 10 minutes and we can get to about 10 masjids, super mega malls, 2 internet cafes, 20 shawarma/falafel stands, 10 sweet shoops, 5-6 grocery stores, 2-3 butchers (probably more, but we did not look), 4-5 bakeries, and that’s just from the one or two roads we use!

Clean crisp air, lots of nice fun walking, lots of hot tea everywhere – I get it each day as I pass by this guy for 10 kirsh – EVERYONE SMOKES, its not taboo to smoke any place and everywhere – 

Life is nice, I should have left American 7 years ago – I can walk around eating, snacking, and praying all day and not have to worry about anything (its good not having any siblings, extended family or people who expect more from you then nothing).

To be honest, I don’t really feel driven much to do anything, I don’t really care if I make anything more in life, learn anything else, or do anything – I am RETIRED! I eat fresh bread every day, fresh fruits every day, I drink lots of tea (and soon coffee, since right now, we are just doing things here and there), I pray at least 4 times a day at the masjid (soon to be 5, fajr is still very hard to get up and go to (ill explain why in a bit) 

The only problem here turned out to be AWESOME! The coldness and how you deal with coldness: Its COLD here in the winter (its mountainous) – however, because of it, hot water is SO NICE, you heat the water up before you use it, you take fewer showers, you feel better to use cold water in daily use for wudu, etc. – All day everyone hangs out together at night around the heater, during the mornings around the heater, sleeping at night is so much fun since its COLD, but then you get under two blankets with a small heater in the room, and its so HOT inside the blankets –

Now, this poses a problem for ghusl – but not so much, I like water running / flowing and in the mornings if I have to make ghusl or something, its just so cold (because you either use the bucket system but not really, or you use flowing water) but you don’t use hot water all the time unless you wake up 20 or so minutes before so you can have the heater on, etc. 

Now when I start doing tahajjud (and waking up before Fajr in general) that problem will be solved – but right now after a cold shower you stand in front of the heater, and its just to cold to walk outside sometimes – or it takes a bit to long to dry, so you may miss Fajr at the Masjid (if you’re a spoiled used to American life person like myself) but, I should have that sorted out soon enough in shaa Allaah  -

But the cold mornings feel so nice, and the hot water system is so satisfying, it makes every shower that much more enjoyable and by default you are programmed just to enjoy life a lot more and not indulge yourself. 

Eating out SUX, all the ‘out’ food sucks to eat like food at the mall, but all the arab nice places / cheap places food is awesome and you feel like eating hummus and bread instead of some fancy French fry meal at the mall –

The entire family is ALWAYS around the living room where its nice and warm! Ibrahim right now ran down to the internet café, and we stayed a bit longer and finished our meals (and me my blog entry) – and this is just a nice vitiating retired life, oh yea its COOL for us NOT TO all have our own cell phones (in the states, even the KIDS had one – sheesh) – we decided not even to get Net / Phones at the home, no VONAGE, No VOIP, just phone cards for the weekly calls back to family – that’s it man – Good, Good Life – without any hassle/worries - 

That’s just the good retired part that would work whether I was a Muslim or anything else  - now on to the next best part of being here – the Prayer!

I hear the adhan everywhere (and Jordan is considered one of the LESS religious arab states when it comes to adhan, masjids, and prayer) – If I am at a mall, I can pray at the musalla, when I am at home – the kids will rush out to the masjid before the adhan even finishes sometimes! – (I take my time, I need to make it an ‘ordeal’, with perfume, grooming, etc.) –

 Last night I was at the Internet Café, and I remarked that most likely we should hear the adhan and be able to walk TOWARDS a masjid – Fatima said, well it may not be as ideal as you like… (shes been here longer) – and bahm! I walked outside, I asked someone which way to the masjid (first of all we heard the ADHAN), second – after I got instructions – I continued on to that way, and asked again just for confirmation from someone else. After he said the same thing, someone else piped in – WAIT, there is one closer (and that’s the one I ended up going to) but DUDE!, 2 Masjids within walking distance when just hanging out at a Café –

 Its practically impossible to not be able to pray in congregatation or even better at a Masjid in a supposedly TECHINCALLY not as religious as other religious arab states – its kinda nice!

 Lots and lots of easy prayer on time and WITHOUT having to look at a prayer time table – and lots and lots of healthy food, and just chilling.

 Life is AWESOME.

Well (besides everything bad that is happening to everyone else that matters) - I am finally starting to see some light at the end of this gloomy tunnel.

I have a perfect gift for Fatima, This. It will be a 29 month Anniversary gift or something - and should come in handy because she Loves U2 (she does not LISTEN to Music though, but you can still like a band you do not LISTEN to) - and she needs a way to listen to qur’an easily - (and I MIGHT slip in some u2 songs anyway if I can find some acapella versions of them…) - I am done with my last meeting in one day. My uncle is doing terrific (he is recovering like crazy), I found some pictures of hiba, amna and gang - I am going to back to Fatima, going back to Jordan - I am not going to be around anyone who can stuff more PIZZA down my throat!

I had pizza every day this week, and i am sick of it, and I keep getting sick but anywhere I go anyone I meet - someone suggests that ‘Sas get pizza’ and as much as I try and avoid it, and no matter what is made - someone orders a pizza for me anyway.

I got in on Sunday Afternoon, pizza was delivered 30 minutes later
I went to my aunts house the next evenging - Biryani was made because she thought I was probably eating pizza all day at chacha house, but then she orders a pizza to. The only problem was this was NEW YORK STYLE (Authentic) pizza, so I ate as much as I could since it had been a long time, but then on top of that, i had to eat the biryani to, so I am very sick - in fact so sick I have to delay my trip one day
I wake up at 5pm, and I am served chai and toast for breakfast with, another Pizza on the way!

I am going to die! and puke and die while puking! Please no one - no more pizza -

I got Eidi again! My family still gives me eidi!

I am going back to Houston now, and will leave for Jordan in a day or two? (Friday) -

Good Good Good. (I miss Fatima)

Is it getting better
Or do you feel the same
Will it make it easier on you now
You got someone to blame
You say…

One love
One life
When it’s one need
In the night
One love
We get to share it
Leaves you baby if you
Don’t care for it

Did I disappoint you
Or leave a bad taste in your mouth
You act like you never had love
And you want me to go without
Well it’s…

Too late
Tonight
To drag the past out into the light
We’re one, but we’re not the same
We get to
Carry each other
Carry each other
One…
Have you come here for forgiveness
Have you come to raise the dead
Have you come here to play Jesus
To the lepers in your head

Did I ask too much
More than a lot
You gave me nothing
Now it’s all I got
We’re one
But we’re not the same
Well we
Hurt each other
Then we do it again
You say
Love is a temple
Love a higher law
Love is a temple
Love the higher law
You ask me to enter
But then you make me crawl
And I can’t be holding on
To what you got
When all you got is hurt
One love
One blood
One life
You got to do what you should
One life
With each other
Sisters
Brothers
One life
But we’re not the same
We get to
Carry each other
Carry each other

One…life

One

Note to EVERYONE! I know in the past I have spoken a LOT about Pizza and a lot about cheese, but if any one elses gets me a Pizza, I will die! No more pizzas please (just in case I am over at your housr or we are out and you want to get me a pizza)

My body simply can not handle it or I am around it to much, but it just always there it seems, and it never comes in singles - it is like the one day, I have pizza - that week everyone around me will get me pizza to, so it turns into a three day pizza fest - and there is a reason I can not just say no either, (will have to explain that later)

But needless to say, even before the pizza, I was already running a high fever and will have to stay in Dallas one more day, I feel VERY VERY sick and not well.  The pizza just makes me want to throw up on TOP of that (and I ate pizza 5 hours ago)

Oh, I saw Kutch Kutch HOOTA Hain (finally) - note: I saw it when I was 16 or 17 as well.

Sas

http://www.osu.edu/features/2006/perfect/

Just like the Michigan Game (this being the only other game I would try and watch), I will be with family and will find out who won later on.

But, that’s cool.

Sas

What do you do when everyone you acts Gay? Two Choices:

1. Say everyone is Gay.
2. Become Gay

On a different side note, one thing me and Fatima had in common before we married was: 1. Catcher in the Rye and 2. Something about Kurt Cobain.

What else should I be
All apologies
What else should I say
Everyone is gay
What else could I write
I don’t have the right
What else should I be
All apologies

In the sun
In the sun I feed as one
In the sun
In the sun
I’m married
buried
I wish I was like you
Easily amused
Find my nest of salt
Everything is my fault
I’ll take all the blame
Aqur scafoam shame
Sunburn with freezeburn
Choking on the ashes of her enemy
All in all we all are

Since I am back in houston for a few more days (I leave for Jordan on the 12th), I had time to vistit my uncle, who just recently had a stroke. He is doing SO much better. He is able to walk around, he is able to communicate, move his right arm, interacting, and even speaking about all sorts of things - He also does not have to wear the heart jacket. This is awesome, its like hes on his way to a full recovery!

It’s always nice seeing cousins, family as well - they got me a pizza first thing obviously (did not have the heart to tell them I am so sick of it and was able to swallaw about three slices of Papa Johns) -

Some things I am looking forward to over here:

1. A Real shower with soap and/or body wash
2. Using soap to clear n my hands and face

The hotel keeps not giving me soap, and I keep forgetting to ask them, so my only cleaning methods was a toothbrush and toothpaste - and at the very end I caved in and got dandruff shampoo because my hair was itching like crazy.

So for the last 2-3 weeks, I have been washing my face and hands with toothpaste! Today, I am going to shower with soap and/or body wash - I can hardly wait!

I would have showered already when I woke up but naturally I messed up my plans just a bit… Abu Muhammad (whom I came to Dallas with) stopped by to pick me and wake me up so we can leave back for Houston. I guess I forgot to tell him we were staying until THE NIGHT! So he had to leave, and Ill leave early in the morning with greyhound -  And then right afterwards I was asked to eat breakfast (chai and paratha) - then my cousin needed to go out to buy a car, so I went with him -

So NOW, I feel kinda sick - and will shower in a bit.

Sas

When I look into your eyes
I can see a love restrained
But darlin’ when I hold you
Don’t you know I feel the same
‘Cause nothin’ lasts forever
And we both know hearts can change
And it’s hard to hold a candle
In the cold November rain
We’ve been through this such a long long time
Just tryin’ to kill the pain
But lovers always come and lovers always go
An no one’s really sure who’s lettin’ go today
Walking away
If we could take the time to lay it on the line
I could rest my head
Just knowin’ that you were mine
All mine
So if you want to love me
then darlin’ don’t refrain
Or I’ll just end up walkin’
In the cold November rain

Do you need some time…on your own
Do you need some time…all alone
Everybody needs some time…on their own
Don’t you know you need some time…all alone
I know it’s hard to keep an open heart
When even friends seem out to harm you
But if you could heal a broken heart
Wouldn’t time be out to charm you

Sometimes I need some time…on my
own Sometimes I need some time…all alone
Everybody needs some time…on their own
Don’t you know you need some time…all alone

And when your fears subside
And shadows still remain, ohhh yeahhh
I know that you can love me
When there’s no one left to blame
So never mind the darkness
We still can find a way
‘Cause nothin’ lasts forever
Even cold November rain

Don’t ya think that you need somebody
Don’t ya think that you need someone
Everybody needs somebody
You’re not the only one
You’re not the only one