IN Digestion

I have too many thoughts racing around my head, to many strange memories that literally are beginning to torment me. Something is impeccably wrong about the last few days of my life. I don’t really understand why I am (blessed?) ridden with so many things I have very little use for. Work has become too insatiable - I am literally staying awake until I wish, arriving as I please, and still managing to meet the important milestones in a somewhat efficient manner. My health is deteriorating (mom: NOT REALLY, its just something to say because the word deteriorate sounds cool [I know now for a fact you READ THIS :)]), but not in a heedless way - more of a pleasant ride downwards, and in a way that is becoming for my life.

I’ll be there for you

For several years, maybe every year until this very last one, I have never had trouble being an insomniac. I have always been able to stay awake for many days in a row (many being exactly around 48 hours or so). Now I find myself needing rest within the regular twenty four hour period that most others are probably accustomed to. It’s not that I mind it, but its oddly bizzare to need rest when my mind is not yet ready to, but still manage to find comfort in sleep. I do not share myself with anyone, in any way shape or form - but sometimes, due to circumstances that are inevitably outside of ones own control, a public place such as this becomes the only viable way to do it. Because of this simple necessity, it is sometimes necessary to use a media which I am not entirely comfortable with to express something I am even less comfortable with.

Cause your there for me to

There is a considerable importance to my relationship with sleep (or its lack thereof) - Once (and only once), a friend of mine told me that they respected the way I dealt with my sleeping problem, and that they hoped I could show that side of myself more often as it made them like/respect me more. Since that problem has now mostly curbed itself (Maybe I am actually getting older, making you, the one who reads this older as well) - maybe I can now uncoil all of the turmoil that berates my sleep. I simply wish that I could enter into a long nap, and wake up somewhere close to end and see how everything worked out (whether for the better or the worse).

I remember  wanting to watch Lion King very badly one day and was utterly defeated in any attempt I made. Within minutes, however I found something much better, much sweeter and so much more lovable, even more believable. As great as it was, it proved to be too difficult to follow through with it and too painful to complete, but it had the gadda. I suppose that in many ways, I am still not quite ready for either (Lion King is exceedingly miserable enough). I suppose that sometime before it all ends, I’ll find out how I fared and what became of it. But it would be much nicer and so much more enjoyable to just skip towards the end, hoping for the best.

For the past several days, I have gotten sick on and off, but I combatted the symptoms early on as each one struck with an Ibuprofen. This has to be best fever I have ever had actually, I did not even realize that IT WAS A FEVER. I had to renew my visa in jordan, and I delayed it as long as posisble, as I am waiting for my offical work visa which means I do not have to go to America, OR Egypt OR Syria every 6 months. (turns out, going to Syria is going to be a bit annoying anyway, and AMERICA is not an option every 6 months. (I am NOT in any way shape or form ready to spend that kinda money yet). So Egypt it was.

It is so so so so so so so so so so nice to live in a Muslim Country, amongst Muslims - Well I went on my way, I took a bus from Amman to Aqaba - then I got ripped off by a smooth talking jordanian (I hate those guys) - but I had no choice as it was my first time doing the whole ferry thing, and I had to ensure that I made it in time and did not spend the night sleeping at the Aqaba Ports. Well, after getting ripped off and going through 4 or 5 procedures I, rather, WE finally had our paper work in order to LEAVE Jordan and goto Egypt. Much  to the dismay of everyone around me, and in the words of Adee, you will ‘Kill Fatima’ (referring to me dragging her with me to Egypt for a one day randevouz on the ’slow boat / ferry) -

Well, she did not die - and besides, its NOT ME who just drags her along. She actually likes to come with me! So, by the way my step kids are amazingly self reliant and can take care of themselves, (waking up, eating breakfast, getting themselves activities to do, etc.) - so we knew they would be fine, and asked my friend to take care of them while we were gone. He royally screwed up and over panicked and tried to  ruin their fun (KIDS have fun if you leave them with a house to themselves) -

So I got to Egypt, and this story is SO SO SO SO boring, that I have to finish the rest of it later and I will just skip to the whole ‘green thing’ -

Point being, I was getting sick and popping pills while I was traveling to take away the symptoms and man did it work - I am only my last few days of my fevel,flu,cold - because I have more mucus, it does not drip, and it’s green!

So I am getting better, maybe after one day, I will be totally ok in shaa Alllaah

Sas

Over here:

http://www.hiltonworldresorts.com/Resorts/Nuweiba/index.htmlIt was SO nice.

Ok, I have to have to have to have to, not exaggerate or make my life out to be a miserable experience. (My mom last week sometime started reading up on me because she was unable to get a hold of me) and WAS very alarmed at my mental state and physical deterioration. (if anyone ACTUALLY believes EVERYTHING AND it bothers you a little bit, either from humanistic standpoint or because you just care,do not - I am a pathological liar, when it comes to describing the circumstances and feelings I am going through, once to the dismay of my wife…).

My face does itch though, lots of grease and pimples and over all poor skin hygeine have been causing it to itch insanely. the only relief I get is from washing it with  soap a couple of times a day (even though, THAT is bad, stops the itching for a bit).

I am SO SO SO hungry -

I am ok mom I’ll try and call you tommorrow in shaa Alllaah

Sas

Finally!

It keeps getting sexier and sexier! - Ok, I am not a big BIG chatter. But I use skype so that I can call out to ameirca as needed, and one day I explained somewhat how to talk for free using skype to my parents - so after this, and not always being able to return calls right when I get them, inevitably one time we started chatting in text on Skype. Now for the past few days while I am at work, and my mom is waking up for Fajr (thats COOL!) - so she comes on and chats with me for a few minutes before she prays Fajr. NOW, this is only the second time she has used smilies, emoticons, but LOOK AT IT! (its wicked)

TOMCAT can GO to hell.

I think my health is weird. I have health issues. But today and for the last few days I guess I forgot about my whole root kannal thing cause even thoug twas huting for a loooooooooooooooooooooooonG time, (days of intense pain), till i finally had to ask about it at a doctors - er dentist, it has now gone away. SO NO root kannal, and no pain. I LIKE THIS.

However on the other hand, my stomach feels totally awkward (and considering for the last 30 hours that I have only had coffee, smokes and one slice of hard bread, oh wait, and some doritos, and some sour cream and oninin pringles).  but it felt really weird before that to.

My face feels like its going to fall off, i have this skin bacteria or something that makes me feel like really weird all of the time - sometimes i take many showers a day to try and rid the feeling especially when I am sleepy and trying to stay awake.

I HAVE TO HAVE HAVE TO get tomcat working with xampp. I hope they both die and goto hell (in shaa Allaah).

Phlegm used to be one of my most faorite things in the world, now, it kinda grosses me out. Fatima kicks butt. YOU SO DO NOT EVEN KNOW how much she kicks butt.

WHERE ARE YOU OH AHMED!

sometimes when you hear something and it touches you, you get this goose bumpy feeling on your skin - but then if you have skin bacteria and what not, it itches and feels awkward.

I wish there was a way to play music on your blog without going to hell. I’d so BE all over that. For some reason blogging these days seems like music is a must with it.

I wrote my first islamic project while having music SO loud on that it damaged my ears (and i did not even hear it,  so hopefully no sin) it was just on to drun out anything else that might come in.

Yikes, i was pulled into a  meeting and i forgot about this but i have to go now, so ill press submit -

Sas

This time, it WILL actually happen, HA.  (to be honest, very good chance it will not)

I have to have a root kannel, but no way man. I will wait it out till I can’t take it anymore. I hate HATE HATE the idea of paying for medical care these days.

Sas

So MUCH.