not two seonds ago, do I finish the blog post, and the door bell rings, and Ammar BROUGHT me two shewarma sandwiches… I am only human (and semi fasting all day), so I am gonna eat one, and Try my hardest to not eat the second one.
Sas
Ok - so, my stomach hurts, and I shall tell you why - for about two weeks, (mostly because of twisted hours and INANE amounts of money being shuffled around) (I still have no bank account here, so even when I want to spend money that I have, I can not as its in my friends account, not to mention, its the only way to get me to stop buying IMPULSE expensive items), I ate nothing but bad foods.
Basically, for example, imagine this. You wake up, and do not have enough time for breakfast, so you think to yourself, ok, today this will be it. this will be the day, I fix my habbits, I will ’semi-fast’ meaning, only drinking water, juices and ill eat fruits and veggies at the afternoon, or when I come back home. Well, if I am served anything remotely healthy, it works like this, I place it and eat it at the end, (I JUST do not like them at all, and I do not want to ruin a nice yummy food with things which are not going to do them justice), so I plan to eat them at the end, this goes with anything even things such as Shewarma. For example, lets say, I am eating shewarma, I will leave all the healthy stuff on it until the end - if I eat with someone, a friend or a family memmber, (since I am also a slow eater), by the time I am done - and since everyone else eats proportiaintely and togetherly, they will have been mixing the main item in bites with the healthy stuff. So since I wait until the end everyone assums, either I do not eat them so they are free to eat mine, of its a general plate, since I am not taking bites along with it, they have it all finished by the time I am ready to eat, so basically for 2 weeks, I HAD NOTHING. And on top of this, each day I did a semi starve / fast planning to basically have nothing in my stomach which is better then gut wrenching felafaels, cheese, frenfh fries, and what not (thats all that can be had close to home), so - each of those days, since I was already in pain AND hungry, each day, i probably ended up eating pizza or felafaels depending on what everyone else was having.
Then on top of that since I by definteion ‘work’ feel each day I should have fun when I come home, so after coming home starving, since I am kinda fasting, since I want to ‘celebrate’ he fact I actually worked (You have no idea how LITTLE i work sometimes, today, i have pretty much spent the better time of my work day figuring out how to add a beatles song to my blog). and even that is an accomplishment, so I am ready to celebrate - so if I come home HUNGRY, i want something yummy, and not healthy, so Ill always try to somehow find a pizza or something fried. Well my friends, ALL of that stopped last night. Last day, I decided thats it, I am going to KEEP so many fruits and veggies at home that this eveyrone else getting to it before me thing WILL NOT happen anymore.
So for breakfast, I ate: 1. a Boiled Egg, 2. A glass of milk (I am obligated by my mom to drink a cup a day), and I had an apple, not so shabbby, not so shabby, oh wait, TWO boiled eggs - so already on my way to work, I was feeling, damn, I did it. So on to the rest of the day, this is the main reason around 8 my boss asks me if i want pizza.. I Said, i really should not…. but ok why not. the pizza came around 9:45 somehow, I left around 9 so I missed it, perfect. So now here is the opportunity, I got home, and I ate something I forget what, but it was somewhat healthy.
Then day 2: (or was it all one day), I came home again after successfully not giving in to my hunger even though I WAS HUNGRY. I came in and it was PERFECT, see, I normally don’t come home at any rgular time, so i came home mostly because i was sick of work, and wanted out (by sick, I mean, i was just sick of doing nothing, i never et anything done after 7 usually, but i am OBLIGATED to stay until 9, and i Have to work from 3-9 instead of 8 to 5, so I am not seen by some very pesky people.) so, I walked in at 9:5, just as fatima pulled out some baked chicken and bread and rice.
WITH A HUGE plate of Salad and also keep in mind, i successfully ate the last 24 hours, so my motivaiton was up (im all or nothing, if i mess up, id not even bother trying to fix), so its all just there, salad, chicken and rice) and bread. Since I hate bread with chicken of anyt kind and even though its baked, I made it into a desi meal with lots of rice and shorba and yoghurt. So I ate.
And I ate again, but I ATE A LOT of salad, and i felt good. So then i walked down to the local store to buy some water, we need an additional tank to ensure we do not ever spend one day withotu drinking water, (we have 3 right now) but in the summe ri guess we go through 4 a week, how I HAVE NO idea, but considering each time I make tea, I make enough for 5 even though there is only 2 of us, and we only drinlk 2 cups, thats MIGHT be the reason we run out of water (I have to learn how to stop this, its just depressin seeing a small pit of boiling water though), so i walked down to the store. And I see for the first time in MONTHS, fine, powedy whole grain flour - now youy have to know something. For the past 4 months, I keep mistakingly buying medium coarse flower (wheat) and have no idea what to do with it or HOW, I tried making parathas out of it, it was SO bad. So i saw the flour and HAD to get it on top of the mango juice. The store was out of my brand of cigarettes, and good riddance anyway (I Am successfully breaking the habit slowly, i am now down to 9 cigarettes offically a day (and about 20 if you could how many i steal from others at work, not to bad, not to bad). Note, I don’t really actually want to quit i have no desire to, BUt i figured if I can stop buying a pack a day, ic an just buy a wide screen tv at the end of the year and get over myself already - note, in jordan even with alot of money, yo ujust don’t want to put in a wide screen tv, its just to problematic, also considering, i dont want anyone else in my home wathing tv except myself, thats not really a nice thing to do but we can talk about that another day. Listen, so I came and I saw the BROWN thing flour, after trying to hard to understand how i can name it in the future in arabic, and trying to figure that out, i decided tomorrow for sure, I will eat paratha WITh baked chikcen left over) -
Of course, to eat healthy you have to wake up healthy to. I was going to, but again, having bosses who WILL NOT fire you no matter what you do or not do, and lets say one of your bosses threatens you and another boss says (knowing he should not say, that sas, there is no way in hell, you will ever be let go, and knowing you can get a job and pull another scam for a few months before anyone will catch on) i manage to say, since yes, I will wake up on time and eat healthy, I will sleep tonight. Luckily, I was also sleepy, so I went to bed. Note, I have had two movies sitting around for twenty forevers, Pinnochio and Citizen Kane, and I am just waiting for one day to actually feel like watching them, i simply do not want to, so they just end up staying waiting to be seen. so I went to bed early, woke up early - Told fatima to goto her class (on the premise that ok, you goto class, im gonna get some more sleep, BY THE WAY, i have 3 deadlines due by the end of this month, and I am not on track to HIT any of them) (but seriosuly, i will hit them all, is not even funny how easy work is). BUT, somehow after waking up every 30 minutes, to tell myself, ill wake up in 30 more minutes (I was having this amazing dream, I dreamed I owned a restuarant, and I Was running it like the mafia, killing people and what not and making great food) somehow, before I knew it, it was 12 o clock! so -
At 12 o clock, i woke up only to not actually wake up until 12:30 and I took a shower (I have to be at work by 3). Then i decided ok, since the day is gone, no need to worry about salads or fruits or anything, lets eat a yummy meal, I made flour but I tried to make it in a different way, faimta convinced me not to do the whole meat thing in the morning and instead have egg (so now when i get home im gonna make more parathas and do it with chicken) - needless to say, I grabbed 30 jods with me before I left inteneidng to grab a large amount of fruits and veggies, but im hungry, and we shall see if i do or not, so - MAYBE MAYBE MAYBE depending on if I can countrt my bad eating today with some good eating at the end, MAYBE, I will in shaa Allaah in shaa Allaah eat healty two days in a row, and if I do, hey, thats all I really have to do innit.
This is whybeingan adult and being a man sux. As a child in a home, I pretty much have to eat what my mom makes me. Now that I am the husband, I can just tell all my wives and kids/step kids to eat healthy (which they seemingly seem to do) and eat whatever i want whenever i want. You need some kind of discipline and what not to be a a husband, father, etc. But again, my stomach was hurting, but now not soo much since i decided after my 2pm breakfast (thats how long it took until everything was ready cauyse the dough should sit for an hour), I can now fix it all, but i know i still want paratha and chicken when i get home..
Sas
What would do think if I sang out of tune,
Would you stand up and walk out on me.
Lend me your ears and I’ll sing you a song,
And I’ll try not to sing out of key.
Oh I get by with a little help from my friends,
He gets high with a little help from his friends,
Oh I’m gonna try with a little help from my friends.
What do I do when my love is away.
(Does it worry you to be alone)
How do I feel by the end of the day
(Are you sad because you’re on your own)
No, I get by with a little help from my friends,
Mmm I get high with a little help from my friends,
Mmm I’m gonna to try with a little help from my friends
Do you need anybody?
I need somebody to love.
Could it be anybody?
I want somebody to love.
Would you believe in a love at first sight?
Yes I’m certain that it happens all the time.
What do you see when you turn out the light?
I can’t tell you, but I know it’s mine.
Oh I get by with a little help from my friends,
Mmm I get high with a little help from my friends,
Oh I’m gonna try with a little help from my friends
Do you need anybody?
I need someone to love.
Could it be anybody?
I want somebody to love
Oh…
I get by with a little help from my friends,
I’m gonna try with a little help from my friends
I get high with a little help from my friends
Yes I get by with a little help from my friends,
with a little help from my friends
Some songs just mean the world to you PERIOD, and its hard to even place your finger on it. This song just totally KICKS BUTT. It covers all the basic ingredients needed.
Sas
So bizzare - I don’t feel comfortable with it, especially right at this moment. Its a BIG BIG BIG conandrum. So, to make things a bit easier, I am going to make some decisions - many of them - firstly, I seriously despise American muslims *yes, that would include myself and my wife, and my step kids also* - because, of a few things they do not do. It mostly revolves around food and the importance placed upon it, especially when it comes to everyone else around you - but there, I said it, this MATTERS to me. Food, most of my life, most of the decisions in my life, the friends I Keep statistically correlate with food in a way shape or form. Basically, [hey,. see, what's going on - Abdul Qaqdir just came into the room, and said, why are you angry, I said, I am not, he said, yes you are, you must not be angry, i don't like seeing you like this] - See, that’s what I am talking about right there. -
Today, Though I only made two posts here - this was ALL I HAVE DONE from work all day, I just sat here and posted two posts, one of which is totally retarded.
So, what I was saying exactly is I HAVE SOME SERIOUS issues with food. Serious, I mean DEAD serious stuff. Stuff I can’t and won’t even explain right now, as I would get in trouble for it, DO YOU SEE how serious it really is. The thing is, Its just not as clear as it can be… 
Sas
Sometimes, - well one of the few responsibilities I have as the ‘on-staff’ American BSer for a Marketing Firm is that whenever we create design proofs for anything and especially logos is to ‘Tell a Story’ about the logo.
I don’t mind it that much, but the deadlines are always same day, and always 3 or 4 designs at a time (this time, however it is 6) - It just depresses me and breaks my heart to have to do it. Firstly, I do not like having to think about what I write and writing it in a particular way, - grammatically and what not (not that I actually ever know what is right or wrong, but obviously no one here in Jordan will either). Note, I make more than doctors here for doing this…
So, since I can supposedly make up a story about anything, I have to, or I should write a story about the logos and what not our company creates. Its just inanely depressing. I can do them in no time, thats not the issue - to sit down and have to come up with a story make it fit and all of that, Firstly, I hate almost all kinds of work, but this I really really hate - sometimes, I really like it, especially if I have hours and hours to do it (preferably days) but since it’s known I can make this horrible stuff up in no time, I get to do it within 1-2 hours max.
Note: ANYONE can do this, but since, I am me, I should do it, its not fun, its not great and for some reason everyone thinks its so so so amazing. After being written, they are usually read outloud by the managers, with everyone cracking up - at first, maybe I tried even to put some effort in to it, but it became clear I could probably say anything, and it would have the same effect - I just kinda drone something out. it is like writing for high school all over again (i earned a straight c in any creative writing assignment I ever did, because it would be so so so uninspired, and so ordinary). I REALLY REALLY don’t want to do this. note, I have been here for about 2 days, and this is the only task I have been given in 2 days, so I can’t really complain (they pay fairly well, and leave me alone most of the time) - but still, I just don’t want to do it. Id rather kill myself I think then do this.
Writing this post was more fun, then the actual work. To be honest, I can’t even figure out how to upload this file, so nevermind. If anyone REALLY wants it, just e-mail me and take it.
Sas
Mohammad AlDbeijs younger brother was killed in a car accident last week.
Also, last week from My Dad:
ASsalamolikum Sas,
You know Husnain, a very good friend of us, died of heart attack last evening. Whenever on Fiday’s
prayer I met him ,he was always asking about you. He praised you for your boldness & independent
way of thinking. He admired you very much. You know he always mentioned me that Jamal Bhai you will go to Jannah, because you married to Shireen. He was 57 only. We went yesterday to his home.
Pray for him. He will be missed.
Walikum Assalam
Almost every day (even though it is summer), I wear my jacket, and I put up with a lot of heat - but I do it so that when I am coming home or out at night, I Have a jacket which even feels nice and comforting EVEN if its hot outside. I guess I have gotten use to being with warm temperature settings. (soofism is so wack, if you read this stuff, everything they do now fiqh wise is against what their originating fore fathers did, including the greats like Ibn Arabi) But, today, and many mornings, I was just out of it, I got a call from Ammar, around 8:30 saying, [laughingly, and in good spirits, because obviosuly I was not wrong for this] but asking, Are you coming in today? And I, trying to give the impression that of course I am, and was awake, said: "Of course, I am’ - and nothing more, to make it seem NATURAL, that I was coming, and that nothing was out of the ordinary (though I figured if he called me, I must be late). So then he’s like, so uhm, when are you coming. And I naturally said, umm what time is it? (like am I suppose to even be there?). So it turns out, it was 8:21 AM - not a big deal actually, cause I was going to stay an hour later anyway today because of a meeting, so I got myself toogether, I formally woke up, ate some breakfast (zaatar, olive oil and bread - what else, this is Jordan innit), and went on my way to work.
Somehow I forgot to bring a sweater, or a sweatshirt, or my jacket, and thats fine- its VERY nice and warm outside, but inside with the air conditioner on and only a T-shirt, and no socks (i pretty much wear sandles ALL the time), I am cold. I am so cold, and I am so cold.
Now another big reason why I wear jackets are, they have front and deep pockets, so I can easily carry my phone, money and loose change without losing them (if I sit down, they fal out of regular pant packets more often than not, especially sweat pants).
Speaking of Sweat Pants, I tend to wear them almost all the time usually, but especially since they are UNBELIVABLY comfortable and comfy. The pockets are a sham though (don’t worrry MOM, I am trying to dress better!).
Sas
I’ve been wanting to fall asleep to a movie, it all started a few years ago I suppose - when I was younger. I used to see my dad fall asleep while swathing movies. (At movie theatres, mind you!). So now I guess that I am an adult, I am taking after him. The funnest part of watching a show on TV or a movie is to fall asleep in it.
So, I got so anxious for this to happen, I carted a TV all the way into the bedroom and have been trying to set something like this up for a few weeks., but it never quite works out, and let me explain why.
1. It has to be a day, where you do not have to wake up and go anywhere in the morning, so basically because of this, I am severely limited as to the days I can do it - because that means I should try to do it on a Saturday Night, or Sunday, a Monday, or Tuesday - now three of those days Fatima is in class in the morning, and its not really fair of me to sleep in while she goes off to work tired (as I will undoubtedly bring her into this mess I want) -
2. It has to be a movie I can sleep to, this is the kicker - this is actually hard to do so, I want it to be something I enjoy going to sleep in.
3. It has to be in a bed, and I should have already prayed isha, so when I fall asleep, I do not have to wake up
4. It should be VERY cozy
5. Again, it should be in a day where I can sleep in.
So its almost impossible to arrange for this. Everyone had been telling me I had to see Pinnochio, so last night, I took a stab at it with the kids and Fatima. In about 20 minutes I was sleeping on the sofa and kicked all the kids out.
Problem was, its not in my bed, I have work at 8AM, and I had not prayed isha. So I finally had my golden opportunity and I messed it up
Sas
You showed me how to do
Exactly what you do
How I fell in love with you
Oh, it’s true
Oh, I love you
You showed me how to say
Exactly what you say
In that special way
Oh, it’s true
You fell for me too
And when I tried it, I could see you fall
And I decided it’s not a trip at all
You taught it to me too
Exactly what you do
And now you love me too
Oh, it’s true
We’re in love, we two
You showed me how you do
Exactly what you do
How I fell in love with you
You showed me how to say
Exactly what you say
In that special way
You taught it to me too
Exactly what you do
And now you love me too
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