IN Digestion

For the past several days, weeks, months maybe even - I have become INCREASINGLY mortified at the thought of not having children. I am not sure why, I know, I would not make a great parent too be honest, if I had a son or  a daughter, id probably let them do whatever they want forever, including any and all sins or whatever. I just can’t imagine subjecting my children to any rules -

But, Its driving me absolutely nuts, I am not necesseraily doing anything towards making it better, all around me all I see are little kids, all the movies I am watching lately, I make sure it has something heavily family oriented - its not that smart

But, I REALLY really want children, and i want them NOW. I don’t want to even wait anymore, I am not even sure what I want more, too retire, or to have kids. I want a little kid, to take WITH me everywhere forever -

Adopted kids no worries, but they won’t look like me. So thats not going to work, also, I remember always getting annoyed that (or was I? maybe i was not, it mgiht have been the wives) when my friends would bring their kids, oh yea, for sure, it was not the kids, id usually amuse myself with them, it was their NAGGING HORRIBLE wives who would ruin my time) -

Anyway, this is SERIOUSLY DEPRESSING ME NOW. I am 25. NO KIDS. NO KIDS.

Sas